To show how serious we are, the winner of the vote will be banned from the Tab for the whole of 2014.
Whether you’re pissed off with prinking, bored of banter or tired of totes we need your help to definitively name 2013’s most irritating uni slang.
To show you we’re serious we’re even pledging to ban the winner of the vote from being mentioned on the Tab for the whole of 2014.
Choose wisely, with great power comes great responsibility.
Origin: The OED defines banter as “the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks”. Students now define it as being a dick, drinking too much or breaking something.
Verdict: At the risk of sounding earnestly “edgy”, banter is so 2011. The TV channel Dave even calls itself “The home of witty banter”. Is there anything naffer than using a word associated with a series of dire TV shows first shown in the late ’90s and now edited to last 37 mins because they were originally shown on BBC and have had to have adverts crammed into them? No.
Origin: Reports indicate that chunder started life as an abbreviation of “watch under” when vomiting from a height. It was popularised in 2008 by the Gap Yah Guy and has since roared around British unays on a tsunami of half-digested jager.
Verdict: It’s been featured as part of a pun in a Daily Mail headline and has become firmly embedded in rah lexicon. It’s even worse than vom and needs to be eradicated from the national consciousness before it goes too far.
Origin: Short for World Class. Most often applied to goals and girls.
Verdict: Just so often incorrect. Popping the ball into the top corner from 12 yards during a kickabout might be the closest you come to emulating Wayne Rooney but it’s not “world class” when you’ve got your mate Pete in goal who only put his fag out when you made it into the 18 yard box. Calling a woman a worldy is the contemptible action of an unrepentant misoygnist.
Origin: Means heavy boozing, one theory is that the term dates back to the days when sailors would be punished with a whipping. After a tough stint of being lashed the sailors were often given some booze to recover making them on the lash. Not to be confused with the literal meaning employed by Anjem “I love a good lashing” Choudary and his bunch of kill-joy mates.
Verdict: Banishing this would also deprive the world of lashbanter, lashhound and a series of derived terms.
Origin: Pre-drinking has become prinking. Yes. Really. Pre-drinking is great – it’s economical, fun and you can do it all from the comfort of your home.
Verdict: Pre-drinking is fine. Pre-lash is fine. However, if your time is so precious that pronouncing the “re” makes a difference to your life then you’re definitely too busy to sit around downing £3 bottles of wine and playing never have I ever.
Origin: Unay is supposed to be everything the Daily Mail hates about uni including boozing, lazing and blazing.
Verdict: It’s become the subject of a tragic one-upmanship as lads go toe-to-toe to prove themselves the most Unay with tall tales of lashbanter bravery. Unay if you want to.
Origin: Short for totally. So abjectly sickening it doesn’t deserve to have anything more written about it.
Verdict: Not only hideous on its own but guilty by association after being followed too often by…
Origin: Cringe comedy duo Hunter and Jessica first used the phrase before it was picked up by dayglo celebrity snooper Perez Hilton. Since adopted by the likes of Caitlin Moran, Charlie Brooker and Keith Lemon which means there’s every chance you’re likely to catch your Mum saying it.
Verdict: It’s the linguistic equivalent of Hollister – once possibly OK, but now excessively beloved by 12-year-old girls. Belongs firmly in 2012 and even then it should never have seen the light of day. Avoid.
Origin: The flying rat has become a synonym for the sort of desperate proto-BNOC who struts around campus bobbing their head, puffing out their chest and wishing they spent more time in the gym and less time shitting on statues.
Verdict: It seems the unis of Britain resemble Trafalgar Square more and more every day. The simple fact is that “pigeon” has been monstrously overused, a sound concept that’s been abused like a Dickensian orphan.
Origin: Haircuts, books, music, shoes, piercings, drugs, blah blah blah everything is “edgy” this and “edgy” that.
Verdict: At some point our parents started saying “cool” and we stopped saying “wicked” and so we’ve been left with “edgy”. 90% of the time “edgy” is a synonym for “looks ridiculous”, “something nobody else is stupid enough to bother with” or “makes an appropriate receptacle for ketamine”.
Origin: The modern version of the “Sloane Ranger”, denotes somebody who speaks with stressed vowels, popped out of Mummy with an antique silver spoon in their mouth and is as at home skiing down mountains of white powder as they are stuffing them up their noses in VIP lounges.
Verdict: Just leave the whole rah-bashing alone. If you go to Oxbridge then you probably are one and if you don’t then feel sorry for them – Tarquin’s journey to a provincial uni was far more expensive and traumatic than yours.
Origin: First associated with 1990s Britpop, Lad culture has become a rallying point for radical feminists denoting pretty much anything done by men that they don’t want them to do.
Verdict: Lad culture has become a one-size-fits-all proximate cause for anything a specific breed of capital-F Feminist objects to. Rugby is OK. Men going out for a pint together is OK. Jokey texts are OK. It’s time to ditch the whingeing, move on from “Lad Culture” griping and do something useful.
Origin: A contraction of “shit” and “lid”. At some point a “lid” started meaning a haircut and the shlid was never far behind.
Verdict: Any contraction of shit is shit. Shlid is an absolutely shword (that’s “shit word”, keep up).
Origin: Ron Burgundy – legendary anchorman and the finest comedy creation since Alan Partridge – immortalised “Stay classy” by using it as his on-air sign-off.
Verdict: All too often spouted by morons in a desperate bid to appear original that is terminally scuppered by an inability to find their own synonym for “Goodbye” (sorry Ricky…). As the hype for Anchorman 2 enters what feels like its 4 millionth year it’s a great time to say goodbye to “stay classy” forever.
Origin: Megalolz has been enjoyed on its own merit, ironically, post-ironically and even post-post-ironically (if that isn’t too meta for you to handle) since the days of MSN messenger.
Verdict: Ian Watkins described his horrendous sex crimes as “Megalolz”. Nuff sed.
Origin: Back in the day if something was casual it meant “not in white tie”, these days anything can be casual (or, worse, casz) whether it’s a pint, a kickabout or any sort of sesh,
Verdict: Only clothes can be casual. Let’s keep it that way.