Because your family is overrated
Asma Butt has spent every Christmas alone since she was 12. Her mum works at Manchester Airport on Christmas Day, one of their busiest days of the year. She’s spending December 25th in her uni house in Aberdeen.
“When you look back at the best moments of your life, will any of them be times with your family watching the Queen’s speech?”
Five franchised Home Alone films can’t be wrong.
Try doing it alone – here’s a step to step guide.
Head out on Christmas Eve. Clubs have the best of your city’s has-been poets and long game lotharios.
They are always out on the 24th of December trying to prove a point.
Tell them you’re spending Christmas alone, and you might get lucky.
Queue: mistletoe kisses and offers of dates.
Forget they even exist and you won’t feel the pangs of guilt of missing your train home or why else would you still be on campus? Don’t be so pedestrian, you’ll be fine.
Do what you want, when you want
Nothing’s open, you have no presents to unwrap or other commercialised enjoyment to experience so give up.
Spend time in your flatmates’ rooms
It’s not like they’re going to know about it.
Don’t you want to know if the grass is greener on the other side?
Buy ice cream
Or posh puds from Tesco Express, not in a weird Bridget Jones kinda way, but because it’s cheap, and you’ll be surprised by how easy it is to acquire.
Head out to one of those dates
You never know what might happen.
But the story will definitely be worth it.
Don’t forget this or you’ll look really heartless.
If the family don’t answer, well they’re obviously having more fun without you.
On the plus side, you can cry about it and no one will know.
Try out Pinterest creations
When else will you have time to do that wizardry.
Or make a mood board about all your feelings of the year, it’s still better than writing a status about it.