Because your family is overrated

Asma Butt has spent every Christmas alone since she was 12. Her mum works at Manchester Airport on Christmas Day, one of their busiest days of the year. She’s spending December 25th in her uni house in Aberdeen.

“When you look back at the best moments of your life, will any of them be times with your family watching the Queen’s speech?”

Five franchised Home Alone films can’t be wrong.

Try doing it alone – here’s a step to step guide.

The warm-up

Head out on Christmas Eve. Clubs have the best of your city’s has-been poets and long game lotharios.

They are always out on the 24th of December trying to prove a point.

Tell them you’re spending Christmas alone, and you might get lucky.

Be keen.

Be keen

Queue: mistletoe kisses and offers of dates.

Fuck humanity

Forget they even exist and you won’t feel the pangs of guilt of missing your train home or why else would you still be on campus? Don’t be so pedestrian, you’ll be fine.

Please Mr. Conductor

Please Mr Conductor

Do what you want, when you want

Nothing’s open, you have no presents to unwrap or other commercialised enjoyment to experience so give up.

Doing what the fuck he wants

Doing what the fuck he wants

Spend time in your flatmates’ rooms

It’s not like they’re going to know about it.

People do put these posters up- true story.

People do put these posters up- true story

Don’t you want to know if the grass is greener on the other side?

Buy ice cream

Or posh puds from Tesco Express, not in a weird Bridget Jones kinda way, but because it’s cheap, and you’ll be surprised by how easy it is to acquire.

Review: if you follow the instructions it does taste like a soufflé

Review: if you follow the instructions it does taste like a soufflé

Head out to one of those dates

You never know what might happen.

Tinder might have died every other day but on Xmas it's your best bet

Tinder might have died every other day but on Xmas it’s your best bet

But the story will definitely be worth it.

Ring home

Don’t forget this or you’ll look really heartless.

If the family don’t answer, well they’re obviously having more fun without you.

#needy

#needy

On the plus side, you can cry about it and no one will know.

Try out Pinterest creations

When else will you have time to do that wizardry.

This attempt from last year is proudly hung up.

This attempt from last year is proudly hung up

Or make a mood board about all your feelings of the year, it’s still better than writing a status about it.